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A journey through grief & self discovery

  • Writer's pictureChristine Angelique

Book Club Bonding

Grief can either tear a family apart, or bond them closer together. Luckily, for my sisters and I, we experienced the latter. We have really learned to lean on each other as we go through this grief journey together. Honestly, my sisters and my dad were the only people I wanted to talk to, or be around during the funeral arrangements and service. It was just us four, together, trying to get through it all.

Now that we have returned back to the busyness of our own lives, me and my sisters found a new way to bond, and stay connected. We started a sisters book club! Every week we read about three or four chapters of a book, share our thoughts, then check in with each other after. We talk about what's new in our lives, and how we're doing with grief. The first book we chose to read is The Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. This book is exactly what we needed – a fun escape to a fantasy world. And when I say "fun", I mean in the sense that it's a fiction novel, rather than a non-fiction, because this book actually gets pretty intense! The first few pages of the book is about the main character losing her mother in a raid. (Wild right? Of all the books we could’ve picked, we unknowingly picked the one with a girl grieving her mother... just like us!)

You know that weird phenomenon when you notice something for the first time, so now everyday after that moment you keep seeing the same thing like it's following you? Oddly enough, now that I've lost my mom, I keep stumbling upon movies and books about grief, or losing your mother. I've even started meeting random strangers while I'm out and about, and we end up talking about our lost loved ones. It's wild, but I digress...

It can be hard to navigate your family member's grief along with your own. You know what they're going through, but you also don't. We all had different relationships with our mother, and we all grieve differently. A good grief day for me could be a hard one for my sister, and vice versa. That's why I love our book club because it's a way for us to still show up for each other, without it directly having to be about where we're at in our grief journeys. We can just enjoy each other's company with a fun, lighthearted activity.

And we absolutely love this book! The Children of Blood and Bone is about an unlikely team of young individuals trying to bring back the magic that was destroyed by a ruthless, power-hungry king, and strike back against the oppression that heavily impacts their home, Orïsha. It touches on social issues like racism, and colorism, while immersing the reader in a fantastical landscape with huge wildcats you can ride, and magical gods that give the maji their powers. Honestly, it's the perfect book for a bunch of Black sisters to read! lol I'm pretty sure it's influenced by Nigerian folktales. Plus, this is book one in a trilogy, so we can keep our book club going, and read all the books in this series. I can’t wait! 

Reading books can transport you to a different time period, place or realm. When you're grieving, and your current realm feels empty and lost, it's nice to take a break, or have a distraction. Of course, we don't want you to escape your reality to ignore your grief completely, or to hinder your healing process, but everyone needs a break from the heaviness of life from time to time. I remember the first few months after my mom died, I just played this beta version of a video game called, Palia. It was nice to just be somewhere else for a bit, and to explore some magical ancient ruins, rather than the depths of my own complex emotions.

I personally think our book club has helped me significantly with my grief journey. It gives me something to look forward to every week, which is especially helpful when it's been a rough week. It prevents me from self-isolating too much because I know every Sunday I'll at least hang out with my sisters. And it's just fun! If this blog teaches you anything, it's to not underestimate the power of just doing something fun, that makes you happy. A book club works for my family, but there's so many other activities you can do together to help stay connected after losing a loved one. I encourage you to find an activity that works for you and your family, or group of friends. Maybe it's weekly game nights, or playing a team sport together. Just have fun, and make time to connect with the loved ones that are still present in your life.

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2 comentarios

05 abr

So honestly I haven’t picked up a book in years…. Life has been Lifing!! 🤣🤣 But I am so glad I did. The book is Great and I Absolutely Love bonding with my little sisters. Love Ya

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05 abr

Love you little sis! Reading has always been a great comfort, a key to knowledge and a wonderful escape into a new world. You captured the joy and bonding reading and family can bring.

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